Pre Script : This blog post was written on 18th Aug, 2011 when I was an intern in Mysore.
Before I explain more about this episode, I should give you some recap about my belief or view about god. For that, I have to give you a small intro to my parents views also. My mom is a very devoted devotee to all the gods in Hindu religion. Daily early morning, she visits the Vinayagar temple near my home and after that she does some poojas in our pooja room also. She also fasts on every Thursday mornings,New moon(Amavasai),Full moon(Pournami), etc etc. Since my dad was working in a different city during my childhood, I spent most of the time in temples with my mom than in playgrounds with my friends. She never runs out of requests to put before god. As per her view, everything happens because of god only. A few examples could be How she got her job, How she and my dad met, How I was born, How my dad got transfer,etc,. Each one of these has a long story behind it and i will probably explain more about these in my future blog posts or in my autobiography !
When coming to my dad, he's totally opposite to my mom. The only reason for him to visit a temple would be either the famous sculptures or the prasadams of that temple. He's always interested in some of the 'isms' like Marxism, Communism, Capitalism,etc,. So when I'm not in a temple with my mom, I would be probably in some meeting with my dad which would be about one of these 'isms' i mentioned above. So during my childhood, my every summer trip's main goal would be either covering all the temples in that area or to attend a meeting there or both.
So after all these confusions in my childhood, I decided that my view on god would be " May be he is there somewhere, Or may he is not !". And I have no hope that I will come to a conclusion and change my view in my life time. So, like a typical human being, When I am happy I don't care whether god is there or not. But when I'm in trouble (Most of the troubles I faced till now are something like, going to school without doing homework or not performing well in the class tests,etc only), I beg for god's help and then show my anger on him when he doesn't provide much help. Next time my prayer will start with an apologize note for my previous insults.
And when it comes to the wishes, I never had problems because most of the time my mom would be there to suggest something. It was a long list and these are the few I can remember now,
'My dad should get transfer...'
'My parents should get their salary increments in time...'
'My parents should get their GPA,PF,etc...'
'My dad should complete his Ph.D successfully...'
'My mom should complete his Ph.D successfully...'
Obviously these are from my mom's side; My wishes were differed like these when i grow up..
School:
'I should get first rank in class...'
'I should get more that 450/500 in 10th...'
'I should get more than 1100/1200 in 12th...'
'I should get a good college in counselling...'
’I should get C.Sc department in that good college…’
After a week of just 'swipe in' in the morning and 'swipe out' in the evening, i was totally bored and little depressed with my monotonous life. So when my friends asked me whether I would like to come out to visit few of the temples nearby, on Varalakshmi festival day, I literally jumped into the opportunity. So after our office hours, we took a bus to Vontikoppal. After entering into the temple's sanctum ( karuvarai ), I realized something which was a shock and also a surprise to me. I didn't know what to ask from god !
Before I explain more about this episode, I should give you some recap about my belief or view about god. For that, I have to give you a small intro to my parents views also. My mom is a very devoted devotee to all the gods in Hindu religion. Daily early morning, she visits the Vinayagar temple near my home and after that she does some poojas in our pooja room also. She also fasts on every Thursday mornings,New moon(Amavasai),Full moon(Pournami), etc etc. Since my dad was working in a different city during my childhood, I spent most of the time in temples with my mom than in playgrounds with my friends. She never runs out of requests to put before god. As per her view, everything happens because of god only. A few examples could be How she got her job, How she and my dad met, How I was born, How my dad got transfer,etc,. Each one of these has a long story behind it and i will probably explain more about these in my future blog posts or in my autobiography !
When coming to my dad, he's totally opposite to my mom. The only reason for him to visit a temple would be either the famous sculptures or the prasadams of that temple. He's always interested in some of the 'isms' like Marxism, Communism, Capitalism,etc,. So when I'm not in a temple with my mom, I would be probably in some meeting with my dad which would be about one of these 'isms' i mentioned above. So during my childhood, my every summer trip's main goal would be either covering all the temples in that area or to attend a meeting there or both.
So after all these confusions in my childhood, I decided that my view on god would be " May be he is there somewhere, Or may he is not !". And I have no hope that I will come to a conclusion and change my view in my life time. So, like a typical human being, When I am happy I don't care whether god is there or not. But when I'm in trouble (Most of the troubles I faced till now are something like, going to school without doing homework or not performing well in the class tests,etc only), I beg for god's help and then show my anger on him when he doesn't provide much help. Next time my prayer will start with an apologize note for my previous insults.
And when it comes to the wishes, I never had problems because most of the time my mom would be there to suggest something. It was a long list and these are the few I can remember now,
'My dad should get transfer...'
'My parents should get their salary increments in time...'
'My parents should get their GPA,PF,etc...'
'My dad should complete his Ph.D successfully...'
'My mom should complete his Ph.D successfully...'
Obviously these are from my mom's side; My wishes were differed like these when i grow up..
School:
'I should get first rank in class...'
'I should get more that 450/500 in 10th...'
'I should get more than 1100/1200 in 12th...'
'I should get a good college in counselling...'
’I should get C.Sc department in that good college…’
College:
'I should get more than 6.0 CGPA...'
'I should pass in all subjects...'
'I should not get any arrears...'
'I should get a job in campus interview itself...'
So, after getting most of my wishes in my life, here I am with a good job in a good company. And also in a place where I'm not sure what I want next ! When I do a brainstorming session inside my brain, these are the wishes I could think of.
Should I ask for a salary increment ?
Last month I got only a few thousands in my bank account as stipend for being an intern and this month I will get double than that as a trainee and next month I will get a few more thousands increment as an employee. So naturally I'm getting salary increment every month. Moreover after seeing the quarterly report of my company, I should be thankful to them for not revoking my job offer, before I ask for an another salary hike.
Should I ask for promotion ?
I haven't even finished my first month in this company; still I'm in my training place to know my production unit and the posting place. And life is not a song comes in Tamil films, where you can reach the top position from bottom within 5 minutes. So I should wait for a long term for this too.
'I should get more than 6.0 CGPA...'
'I should pass in all subjects...'
'I should not get any arrears...'
'I should get a job in campus interview itself...'
So, after getting most of my wishes in my life, here I am with a good job in a good company. And also in a place where I'm not sure what I want next ! When I do a brainstorming session inside my brain, these are the wishes I could think of.
Should I ask for a salary increment ?
Last month I got only a few thousands in my bank account as stipend for being an intern and this month I will get double than that as a trainee and next month I will get a few more thousands increment as an employee. So naturally I'm getting salary increment every month. Moreover after seeing the quarterly report of my company, I should be thankful to them for not revoking my job offer, before I ask for an another salary hike.
Should I ask for promotion ?
I haven't even finished my first month in this company; still I'm in my training place to know my production unit and the posting place. And life is not a song comes in Tamil films, where you can reach the top position from bottom within 5 minutes. So I should wait for a long term for this too.
Should I ask for an onsite opportunity ?
Even though I was not confident of my English before, my successful speech and 85% marks in Professional Skills Development has increased my confidence now. But asking for an onsite opportunity as soon as I joined in the company doesn’t feel right. I feel that I have to prove myself in offshore before expect an onsite opportunity.
Should I ask for a new car ?
If my dream car is a Tata Nano or Maruti 800, it would seem fair. But unfortunately, as a fan of James Bond and Transporter films, My dream car is a BMW; or an Audi. I know it’s a very big dream for me. So I have a backup dream car also; It’s a Skoda. After doing a rough calculation,
If I save my salary for 3.5 years without spending even a penny, I will achieve my Skoda dream. So if I ask for a BMW or an Audi to god, he will directly appear before me and ask, “Unaake ithu too mucha theriya ?!!” ( if he is there somewhere !)
Should I ask for a mobile ?
I bought my Nokia X6 last September after a huge fight and two days fasting against my parents. So when I put my idea of buying a Samsung Galaxy S II from my first month salary, My mom started a non stopping lecture (she’s a lecturer in a Govt. Arts College; So giving this kind of lectures is not new to her ), about how we should save our money and reduce our expenses from our first month salary itself. After hearing this lecture for nearly an hour, I even started questioning myself whether I really need a new mobile; But, as soon as the 30 second ad of S II comes in the tv again, I totally forgot this one hour lecture (power of advertising ! ). So asking for a mobile, would be like asking for a 10 million bumper prize in lottery even without buying a single lottery ticket.
Finally, Should I ask for a girlfriend ?
First of all, asking for a girlfriend to god won’t be appropriate. He’s not a marriage broker or a host of some dating website who can help me to hitch with someone. But if I convince myself that he won’t feel bad about it, and willing to help me in this, I’m not sure whether having a girlfriend is a boon or a bane. When I see my friends who are committed or who believes that they are committed, they seems very happy with the all cozy moments in food courts and the ‘kai veesamma kai veesu’ walking they do 24x7 inside the campus which is longer than even the security guards who are on duty. It looks very exciting from a particular distant; but totally opposite from near. If they spend 10 hours of the day speaking in mobile, then the other 14 hours spent on messaging. Also the boys have their other duties like following their girlfriends like a bodyguard where ever they go, recharging for their mobile even though most of the time you will get only missed call from them,etc,. Some of these committed people may argue that there’s a happiness in all these. Even if something like that is in all of these, I’m not sure whether I’m ready to live another person’s life also with mine now.
So after thinking about all of these for a long time, I came to a decision. Next time I go to a temple, first I’m going to thank the god for giving me this good job and also add that I would be more thankful If he clears my mind to see what do I want next in my life !
